Thursday, April 1, 2010

Life is Beautiful !!

Last night I  dreamt about my mother, holding me tight in her arms and say "Life is beautiful! Do not fear, come what may.." When I woke up this morning how I wished it wasn't just a dream! I Could still feel her touch, her caress, can never forget that warmth of being held in her arms and that beautiful voice which was still lingering in my ears!   

As I was in the kitchen making morning tea for me, I could not help but recall the relationship we shared as a Mother & Daughter. As a single parent let me tell you she was a very strong woman. She survived a divorce when divorce wasn't a norm, later faced many a scares with complications from her cancer, simultaneously dealing with a complicated teenager-that's true me ! She sure was the strongest person I've known. 

 As a child I remember my mother telling me stories of the moon, at times she would simply come up with something beautiful. These stories were often followed by wrapping up of a homely function, a get-together or a festival, say a birthday celebration which included just the three of us my grandmother, my mother & me.

Also after those functions and events that she attended as a single parent at my school, when and where my eyes kept searching and looking for a figure sitting besides her and cheering me up, which never ever happened ..not once. My mother always understood my silence and the look I gave her from far away. My mother she was !

After our event at school, on our way back home, she would never ask me what was wrong with me, she understood me right ! She would then simply play my favorite music in the car, would take me on long rides, would buy me stuff I wanted, would take me to my favorite food joint and in a blink I would forget my reason of being upset. She was that Beautiful Fairy to me who with her magic wand made all uneasiness disappear.  
I would then later ask her if at all I remembered,"if you have so much of power and can do anything for me, how come I don't get to see or hear from Papa? She would then take me in her arms, kiss my forehead and say "I love you my baby and so does Papa, But there are certain things as a Mother, I will never be able to explain to my 4 year old, even if I do try explaining it to you now, it would leave you all the more confused and you my child would not  understand a thing just the way you don't get that tiny little scar on the moon." She used to then ask me to look out at the moon from the window " The Beautiful Moon you see every night from your window, that has a scar too and yet looks so beautiful. Do you ever think of that scar while admiring it's beauty? and I immediately used to say "NOOO". She then said, "That's it then, Cherish the Beauty and Happiness of life that comes your way, that is what makes Life Beautiful & Worth Living !" Do not pay attention to any of those scars because scars my dear are not here to stay !" Gradually and slowly then I could hear her voice fade away as she put me to bed, all night long she would then hold me like a baby ! Ohh!! what comfort it was to be in her arms ! 

Friends, that was my tiny little piece of childhood, which I have shared with you, and I promise there are many more to follow-gradually!
Nevertheless, I would also want to admit, that however Adorable I seemed to be as a child, stepping into teenage was not that all easy as a pie! I was a very complicated, difficult and rather rebellious Teenager who grew up with a feeling that my mother was hellbent on squashing my independence !